"Young Filipinos look up to these famous personalities. "
"Young Filipinos look up to these famous personalities. "
Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada met with celebrities and entertainment scribes last week. He was his usual self, making self-deprecating jokes called Eraptions.
Eraptions was a book made of of Erap’s jokes. Public relations guru Reli German and I came up with it when Estrada was campaigning for president. The late National Artist cartoonist Larry Alcala did the illustrations.
Santa Banana, that was an instant hit!
And when Erap, as president, went on foreign trips, OFWs and Filipino expatriates bought copies of the book.
Among the jokes in the compilation:
Erap was complaining about unbearable pain on his knees. He went to his doctor, who told him to stop eating fatty food. “What have you been eating lately?”
“Lechon,” Erap said.
“That’s it!”
“No wonder Gloria has been giving me lechon. She wants to take over my presidency!”
Erap asked his doctor what he should eat instead. “Anything that swims or flies. Fish, fowl or chicken.”
After a week, the doctor visited Erap at Malacañang. He was told Erap was at the pool. “He’s exercising, that’s great!”
But the doctor saw Erap teaching a pig how to swim.
Another joke goes like this.
When Erap and his staff visited Saudi Arabia during the Gulf War, they mistakenly crossed the border between Saudi and Iraq. The Iraqi border patrol soldiers arrested them.
The next morning, they were told: “We have decided not to execute you and your men, but you will be injected the HIV and AIDS serum.”
Erap smiled. “I will take it.”
His staff members were alarmed and told him that it would be a slow and painful death.
Erap said: “Don’t worry; I am wearing a condom. “
* * *
In 2000, before Erap was accused of plunder and before he resigned constructively as president, Reli and I had wanted to come out with a second edition of the book.
Among the jokes we had planned on including were:
There was a summit between Clinton, Kruschev and Erap.
Clinton was boasting about the American space program. “This year we will send American astronauts to Mars!”
Kruschev said: “That’s nothing. We will send Russians to Saturn.”
Erap said: “I will send Filipinos to the sun.”
The two other leaders said, “They will get burned halfway to the sun!”
Erap replied: “No problem, I will send them at night.”
These self-deprecating jokes have helped him a lot, and I know for a fact that even taipans and heads of conglomerates have asked for copies of the book.
* * *
Malacañang and the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency have hesitated to come out with the list of movie and television stars who are using illegal drugs.
But why make an exception for them when the list of narco-politicians is also there?
I know that some celebrities do take drugs. It’s part of their work ethic and sense of belonging. Recall that even Nora Aunor was once accused of getting into drugs.
I think the hesitation comes from the fact that many young Filipinos look up to these stars.
It’s not unusual, though, because of the nature and demands of their job. I say make that list public.
It also stands to reason why the Supreme Court must have all the records of the police and PDEA if the Supreme COurt must determine whether or not there have been extrajudicial killings.
* * *
It was a good thing President Duterte has ordered a review of all government contracts so that onerous provisions can be removed. To his credit, he is the only president who has ordered such a review.
Contrary to what the Department of Finance said, that the Philippines has always been compliant in its loans, paying them on time, Supreme Court Associate Justice Antonio Carpio said that in 1983, right after the assassination of Senator Benigno Aquino Jr., people started withdrawing their dollar accounts from banks to the point that the country could no longer pay its dollar obligations.
Fortunately, then Trade Minister Roberto V. Ongpin came in and warned money exchangers in Binondo that he would have them arrested and put into stockade unless they got together and put up a money exchange center.
That started the so-called Binondo Central Bank, somehow stopping the country from collapse.
* * *
In my column yesterday, there were a couple of mistakes. Martin Romualdez’s father’s name was misspelled as Koko. Another mistake was the name of Julian Dycaico, nephew of Kokoy’s widow, Juliet Gomez Romualdez. Julian’s wife is the first cousin of my wife, Nenita Kapunan.
Nonetheless, I repeat: My bet for Speaker is Martin Romualdez. Any takers?
www.emiljurado.weebly.com
