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Saturday, November 23, 2024

Teen moms: A lost generation?

Teen moms: A lost generation?"Here are our findings."

 

 

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(Part 3)

As previously said, based on the conducted interviews of 60 girls who experienced teen pregnancy and focus group discussions (FGDs) with at least 120 community women from the same areas where the girls are from, my NGO will come up with observations in relation with and recommendations to address the complex issue of adolescent pregnancy.

Last week, I discussed the impact of a conservative culture on young people’s sexuality. I delved on how young people are starting to have sex early on and how parents are generally in a state of denial regarding this. The fact that sex and sexuality are topics that are not discussed in families, and barely touched in our educational system owing to our conservative culture, has resulted—and continues to result—in our young people not having enough and correct knowledge. On the other hand, parents shy away from getting into conversations on sex also because they do not know enough, feel embarrassed, or do not know how to discuss these taboo topics.

Moreover, the use of contraceptives by young people is generally frowned upon not only by parents but by many of those working in our Barangay Health Centers. It is then not surprising that many of our young girls get pregnant.

The experiences of the girls we interviewed should serve as a wake-up call to all of us.

So far, these are the major observations we have gathered from the teen moms’ interviews and conducted FGDs:

The big majority of girls said that they knew very little about sex despite the few lessons they had in school and the unexplained prohibitions imposed by their parents and guardians once they have menarche. They entered relationships not knowing what they were going into and how they could protect themselves from teen pregnancy.

A good number of girls had their first boyfriends at the ages of 12 or 13 years old. Most of the interviewed girls had their first sexual experience NOT with their first boyfriend.

In many cases, there was a big gap between the ages of the girls and that of the guy who got them pregnant. These are but some of ages of the girls and their BFs when the girls got pregnant – 12 and 23; 13 and 20; 14 and 20; 14 and 23; 14 and 28; 15 and 22; 15 and 23; 15 and 26; 15 and 28; 16 and 27; and, 16 and 30. In a few cases, the men lied about their age.

Many of the first sexual experiences among the girls involved alcoholic drinks. They usually get invited by their boyfriends to parties that turn out to be drinking sessions. Even if the girls are not used to alcohol, they are put in a position where they are unable to refuse. They get drunk and unprotected sex happens after whether the girls liked it or not. In most cases, they did not.

Most of the first sexual experiences of the girls happen in their boyfriends’ homes.

Virtually all first sexual experiences of girls were unprotected sex. A good number of pregnancies resulted from these.

From the data that we have so far analyzed, there were at least 10 cases of rape, three cases of abductions/kidnapping, a good number of cases of physical violence, and many more cases of other forms of abuse, harassment, coercion, and intimidation committed against the girls. Sadly, many of the girls who were raped by their boyfriends still live with them.

Upon knowing about the pregnancies, parents of the couples take it upon themselves to decide on what would happen to them WITHOUT even asking what the girls and their boyfriends wanted. In most cases, they were “forced” to live together. Some girls said that this was not what they wanted.

In one extreme case where no sex was involved, the boyfriend wanted to do right by the girl and decided to talk with her parents to ask their permission for them to “officially” become a couple. The girl’s mother misunderstood this to mean that the two already had sex. They were forced to live together to protect the girl’s “honor.”

A good number of girls had difficult pregnancies and childbirth. Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) was a common complication among them. There were cases when the girls’ lives were put on the line and emergency Caesarian Section procedures had to be performed. A few girls have undergone three (3) Caesarian operations.

Repeat teen-pregnancy is common. From the partial data we have culled, we have counted at least 18 cases of repeat teen pregnancies. A few of the girls already have three children. This is because most of those who have already given birth the first time did not use contraceptives. A second, even third pregnancy was inevitable.

All the interviewed teen mothers come from poor families. Virtually all of them stopped their schooling due to the pregnancy. Most said their lives are harder now when money is very scarce especially because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Despite the worsening poverty they experience, the big majority of the teen moms still dream to be able to go back to school, finish some course, and in the future, land a job. All said they want to be able to give their children better lives.

All of the girls said that if only they knew how difficult it is to be a young, poor mother, they would have waited until they were older, most said 25 years old, before getting pregnant. By then school would be finished, they would be more stable and better prepared to face the responsibilities of motherhood.

Do not get pregnant early—this is their main message to young people now.

@bethangsioco on Twitter Elizabeth Angsioco on Facebook

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