No, I’m not yet finished with THAT kiss. Though I have written about this on Facebook, the developments in the past days, as well as reactions from both pro- and anti-Duterte deserve more contextualizing and analysis.
It pained and infuriated me to watch that kiss because the woman was defenseless against the most powerful man in the country. She did not deserve the treatment she got. No woman deserves that. What she did or did not do is irrelevant because it was about power dynamics. The victim-blaming that followed the incident was even more painful. Many did not understand the kind of power that was at play. It was a game of dominance and control displayed by the President of the Philippines.
The president and an OFW
Digong as the PRESIDENT is the most powerful person in the country. The woman is an ordinary OFW and obviously, a DDS. The power imbalance between them is great—by virtue of sex, age, and position. The woman knew and acknowledged this. Why else did she did the utmost show of respect in Filipino custom—“pagmamano?” She was in the presence of an elderly man wielding supreme authority.
Before the event, the woman posted on Facebook (this has since been deleted) a picture of herself with Asec. Mocha Uson. She wished to be able to go near the president, and considered herself lucky to be at the event. Unsurprisingly, she was star struck, gushing, and giggling like a fan who got the chance to be physically near her idol.
Duterte solicited the kiss
The full video showed that Duterte singled out the woman, “yung naka-puti” as he called her on stage first before asking for another because he had two books to give away. After receiving the book, the two women were already leaving the stage when the President called her back.
The two returned. Duterte asked the woman if she was single. She responded that she was married. Then the unthinkable happened. Duterte solicited a kiss on the lips, first verbally, and REPEATEDLY by putting his fingertips on his lips. As the PRESIDENT was doing this, the woman’s discomfort was obvious by her body language. She covered her lips with her mobile phone, and then put the phone between her and the President. By this time, the crowd was already unruly and loudly egging them on. And the kiss happened.
If it was not tremendous pressure on the woman, I do not know what is. What could an ordinary woman OFW do? Duterte is the PRESIDENT. This alone instantly awes and overwhelms people. After all, how many ordinary mortals could go near the president? She was in a no-win situation.
Reactions and justifications
Reactions to the issue were varied. While most that I have read put the blame squarely on Duterte’s misogyny, not a few were victim-blaming subtly or overtly. Many said that she should have diplomatically refused. There were those who accuse her of being complicit by her body language. A few even called her stupid. They said she consented to what Duterte wanted.
She was being blamed for what Duterte did.
Even in ordinary life situations, it is very difficult to say no to a boss, a teacher, a parent, a husband, and even a boyfriend. Women face these situations often. And many times, we give in and go along to avoid more “problems.” This was no ordinary situation. She was in front of the PRESIDENT OF THE PHILIPPINES.
Women, from birth, are generally socialized by all institutions in our society, starting with the family, to submit to men, to the elderly, and authority. Contrary to some people’s assertion that women’s sense of inferiority is due to stupidity, it is actually LEARNED, dictated by our culture.
How was she supposed to react? We should remember that even Vice President Leni Robredo and Tourism Secretary Berna Romulo-Puyat were victimized by Duterte’s misogynist actions. Their being powerful women did not stop Digong from disrespecting them. The woman in question was an ordinary OFW. Could she have embarrassed the PRESIDENT? What real choice did she have? Why blame her? How can people even think that she could say “no” given the context?
There are many opinions on what the woman should have done to thwart Duterte’s advances. It is easy for us to say things AFTER the incident because we have the benefit of hindsight. More importantly, we were not in the position of this woman. The issue here is Duterte’s misogyny. What the woman did or did not do is irrelevant.
Duterte was in full control of the situation. He could have stopped at any time if he had any sense of decency. In the first place, he should not have done what he did. He should not have wielded his power OVER the woman.
By his actions, Duterte did not only (again) disrespect women, he disrespected the Presidency.
Even some anti-Duterte folks were out to trivialize the issue by saying that this is a diversionary tactic. They say that people should not pay as much attention to this because our attention is diverted from the major problems faced by the country. The assumption here is misogyny is not an important problem.
I take offense with the thinking that there is a hierarchy of issues and women’s issues are less important. This mindset plagues even so-called progressive groups. As a result, women and women’s issues are marginalized in terms of discourse and action. Women activists and feminists have been known to leave organizations because of such.
I do not subscribe to hierarchy of issues because subtly, it considers women’s issues as “pampagulo.” This is problematic at the very least. Women’s issues are as important because they affect AT LEAST half of the population. Marginalization of women and our issues results in the silencing of half of Filipinos. Society is deprived of women’s contributions.
Misogyny thrives on this hierarchy because really, women are put at the sidelines. Nothing should stop us from addressing class, gender, and other issues simultaneously. That Duterte act in South Korea is part of the systemic misogyny that this administration wages against Filipino women, whether in position or not. This must be addressed.
As expected, Duterte’s minions came to the rescue. All sorts of absurd, some idiotic justifications were made but the President’s actions cannot be justified. No excuse is acceptable.
Presidential Spokesperson Harry Roque said that the kiss was for fun and it was acceptable in Filipino culture. Perhaps it was fun for the president but it was done by abusing the woman. Is something like that acceptable in Filipino culture? No, it is not particularly since Filipino culture is big on respect and this was about disrespect.
Presidential Legal Adviser Sal Panelo said that the kiss is just like one given to a grandchild. This is absurd since obviously, the woman could not be Duterte’s grandchild and the president’s behavior could hardly be mistaken for that of a grandfather.
Senator Sherwin Gatchalian even chimed in comparing what Duterte did to married actors who, in playing roles also kiss married women. He added that the kiss was done to please the audience. The senator betrayed a very low understanding of women’s issues and in effect, trivialized what to many women was a serious breach of our right to be free from abuse.
Duterte is the PRESIDENT of the Philippines, not an actor portraying a role. He carries with him the full powers and HONORS of the presidency wherever he goes. It was an official government event and he was there not as some entertainer to make people laugh. The kissing was uncalled for and disrespectful of the office he carries. There are many ways of pleasing a crowd and if this was what the president aimed to do, he could have done so without being misogynist. Gatchalian’s comments help normalize sexism.
Mocha Uson’s attempt at equating the kisses on the cheek given to Ninoy Aquino by women just before he was assassinated with the kiss imposed by Duterte on an ordinary OFW woman was FOUL. She received a lot of flak from this and rightly so. The two incidents obviously cannot be compared. Uson’s attempt was plain vile.
One was given by women out of respect and affection to a man who was coming home for exile to fight a dictatorship. The other was that of a President blatantly wielding his powers to get a kiss on the lips from a defenseless woman OFW. Comparing the two is gross.
I thought that nothing can beat Uson’s (evil) genius but Duterte himself did. The PRESIDENT said that that kiss was brought about by BIOLOGY. He added that he has kissed more than a thousand women on the lips as a politician and that it is his STYLE.
In one go Duterte made liars out of his allies. All their justifications were lies. By his own words, he admitted to being misogynist and that through the years he has been preying on women. By saying that what transpired with the woman OFW is biology, he tells us that when he gets the urge, he acts on it without regard for anything else but to pleasure himself. He does this because he is powerful and he can.
This is the PRESIDENT of the Republic of the Philippines.
To parents out there, would you want your daughters to get that surreal Digong kiss? This misogyny must stop.
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